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How do I wake up from a
psychological and spiritual stupor I have been in for 30 years because of emotional trauma
from childhood?
 adly, the emotional trauma of childhood
neglect and abuse can leave a person in an overwhelming stupor, a stupor of resentment
and anger that can cripple social success and spiritual growth.
In your case, the fact that you are asking
how to wake up from the stupor means that you now realize that you have been in a stupor.
That’s an important point, because when you are in a stupor you won’t realize that you
are in a stupor, and so you will be stuck in dysfunction.
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Note that if you persist in
believing, “That’s just the way I am; it’s impossible to change,” then you will remain
in a stupor. |
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But once you can name the
stupor as a stupor you can see it for what it is, and then you will have the freedom to get
unstuck. It’s similar to being in a bad dream; while you’re dreaming, you don’t know you’re
dreaming, but when you wake up you can tell yourself, “It was all a bad dream.” Naming the
terrifying experience as a “bad dream” frees you from being stuck in the terror. Hence, the
process of getting unstuck is what it means to “wake up.”
How To Wake Up From a Stupor
When you have realized that you have been in a stupor,
and when you have heartfelt remorse for all that was lost while you were in a stupor, then
there are several aspects of the “waking up” process: alms giving, fasting, and
prayer.
Alms Giving
One way to give alms is to give
gratitude to God. To begin, say, “Thank You, God.
Once I was lost, but now I am found.” Then continue, moment by moment, day by day, acknowledging
the help that God gives you and thanking God for that help.
Another way to give alms is to give patience,
time, free services, and money, each in its own way and in its own prudent place, to those who
need it. It’s all a way to pay for the physical or
spiritual damage you inflicted on others and yourself while you were lost in your stupor.
Fasting
Fasting isn’t just about not eating food. Fasting
can be a matter of letting go of anything that doesn’t sustain your health and spiritual
needs—such as food that serves pleasure rather than nutrition; clothing and accessories
that serve social status and acceptance rather than personal dignity; and anything that serves
only personal pleasure, such as TV, movies, pornography, masturbation, intoxication by alcohol
or drugs, nicotine, and tobacco.
And then there is the matter of fasting from
psychological dysfunction. The reason that people get into such a stupor is that they are
so obsessed with anger for how they were mistreated
as children that peace and love were blocked from their minds and hearts. Now, for you to
wake up and heal from the stupor, whenever you experience thoughts of past mistreatment, fast
from anger and turn to forgiveness. Say to yourself, “What they
did to me was wrong and it hurt me deeply. But it’s not my job to punish them or make them be
different. They will have to answer to God for what they did.”
Then say to God, “Show me what I can do now. I surrender to Your love and pray for the grace
to heal.”
Prayer
Make use of the following prayers as much as possible.
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Daily Prayers |
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Pray the Waking Prayers
to start your day with a humble appeal for God’s protection and for healing from your spiritual and
physiological infirmities. |
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Pray The Litany of Humility
to remind you that pride and the desire to be “in control” will keep you trapped in a
spiritual stagnation. |
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Pray the
Prayer for Deliverance from the Tyranny of Evil for
protection from evil influence. |
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Pray The Holy Way of the Cross
to keep in mind daily how Our Lord was hated and attacked by evil powers, and how even today Our
Lord and those who follow Him are still hated and attacked by evil powers. |
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Pray Renunciation Prayer
to renounce the evil spirits that attach themselves to you during your periods of ignorance
and apathy and that will continue to oppress you as you seek to live a holy life. |
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If not daily, then at least weekly
prayers |
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Pray
The Holy Face of Jesus to
behold the Holy Face of Jesus as He once was desecrated with blood, sweat, spittle, and mud,
and to behold also all the grievous offenses committed against Him today. |
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Pray
The Chaplet of Saint Michael the Archangel to
make use of its 9 Steps to Catholic Sanctity. |
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Pray The
Act of Reparation to the Sacred Heart of Jesus as a reminder of how you,
in the past, and others, even now, afflict the the Sacred Heart of Jesus with indifference,
ingratitude, and contempt. |
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