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Should
a homosexual couple that love each other (not “common love” but
real love) and want to start a family through adoption be allowed to marry?
I am asking this question because I am considering becoming a Catholic priest,
and I think we both know that homosexuals are not permitted to marry in the
Catholic faith, yet I have always felt that homosexuals should have the right
to marry. I have had much tension over this issue so I am asking you because
your perspective is unbiased and loving.
 our question actually has four
components to it: marriage, love, sexuality, and adoption. So let’s
consider each issue separately.
Marriage
In the Catholic Church,
marriage—that is, Holy Matrimony—is a
sacrament, not a right, and
only legally eligible and properly prepared heterosexual Catholic
couples have access to it.
Civil rights, however, are another
matter, and if Catholics—or any persons—want to pursue their civil
rights outside the Church, then let them do what they
want.[1]
Nevertheless, keep in mind that
many things which are legal according to civil law are both illicit according
to Church law and also grave sins in the eyes of
God. Therefore, even though many individuals enjoy their civil rights in
this life, they will pay the price for them
in the spiritual realm—and that price can very well be the torment of
everlasting separation from
God.[2]
Love
In regard to
love, real love seeks the good of the
other [4]
while “common love” seeks only its own
satisfaction. Modern society has stripped marriage of its religious basis
and has perverted it into a concept based in two “partners”
being drawn together because of common love. Holy Matrimony, however, is based in a man and
a woman being drawn together because of their mutual real love for God. Because
gay and lesbian lifestyles reject God’s will, such lifestyles are based in
a hatred for God and therefore reject all possibility of Holy Matrimony. After
all, anyone committed to real love would be appalled
at the idea of leading someone into temptation
and sin; consequently, illicit “marriage” and sexual
sins have no place in real love.
Sexuality
In regard to
sexuality, it is a sin to engage in any sexual activity
not between a man and a woman in the context of their marriage, and not open
to procreation, and not free of lust.
This applies to everyone, not just to Catholics. Those who want to
commit sin are
free [3]
to do so, but here again remember that they will pay the price for their
sins in the spiritual realm—and that price can very well be the torment
of everlasting separation from God.
Adoption
In the Catholic Church, adoption
serves the purpose of protecting abandoned children from the trauma of being
without parental guidance and religious instruction. Adoption, therefore,
serves the good of the children. Consequently, it would be a perversion of
adoption for adults to adopt a child just to fill their own emotional
needs—especially if those needs are unfulfilled only because holy and
natural procreation has been rejected.
Moreover, how can those who reject
Church law and tradition teach their children
to love and to fear God and to keep His commandments? Well, they can’t.
They can’t give their children a proper education in anything but
sin.
All in all, if parents lead their
children astray through false teaching and scandalous example, they share
culpability for the children’s sins and will pay the price for those
sins in the spiritual realm—and that price can very well be the torment
of everlasting separation from God.
The Priest’s
Obligation
A Catholic priest is obligated
to live, preach, and teach real love and true compassion.
According to his
baptismal vows as a Christian, his personal
life must be ordered to real love and to the avoidance of sin. In his
liturgical role, he must preach real love as the
essence of Christianity. And in his pastoral
role he must teach real love to others and never condone sin. All in
all, if a priest leads others astray, he shares culpability for their sins
and will pay the price for those sins in the spiritual realm—and that
price can very well be the torment of everlasting separation from
God.
Blessing
May your vocation be blessed,
may you learn true compassion, and may you be protected
from temptation and ultimately arrive safely in
the presence of God—regardless of what happens in the
social world around you.
Notes
1. “We don’t care what you want—or
what’s legal or moral. We want what we want, and we will get
it, one way or another.” That’s the rallying cry of the disgruntled,
stemming from the motto of Satanism: Do what thou wilt.
2. Because our souls do not perish at the death
of our bodies, each soul must seek out it’s own fitting place in the
spiritual realm. Souls who separate themselves from God in this life by
persisting in sin and refusing to repent of it will have no choice but to
hide themselves from God in the afterlife—and that “place”
of eternal separation from God, to which the soul’s own sins condemn
it, is called hell. Souls who do repent of
their sins in this life and seek reparation through Christ’s mercy will,
after first being cleansed in Purgatory, be received
into God’s presence—and that “place” is called
heaven.
3. God has given free
will to all of us, so everyone is free to choose good or evil.
4. Saint Thomas Aquinas. Summa Theologica.
I-II, 26, 4.
Recommended
Reading
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Falling Families, Fallen Children by Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D. Do
our children see a mother and a father both living in contemplative love for
God with a constant awareness of His presence and engaged in an all-out battle
with the evil of the world? More often than not our children don’t see living
faith. They don’t see protection from evil. They don’t see genuine, fruitful
devotion. They don’t see genuine love for God. Instead, they see our external
acts of devotion as meaningless because they see all the other things we do that
contradict the true faith. Thus we lose credibility—and when parents lose credibility,
children become cynical and angry and turn to the social world around them for
identity and acceptance. They are children who have more concern for social approval
than for loving God. They are fallen children. Let’s bring them back.
Ordering
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Healing by Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D. explains how psychological
defenses help to protect us from emotional injury. But if you cling to the
defense mechanisms that were created in your childhood and carry them on
into adulthood—as most everyone does unconsciously—your quest for spiritual
healing will be thwarted by overwhelming resentments and conflicts.
Still, God has been trying to show you that there is more to life than resentment and
conflict, something so beautiful and desirable that only one thing can resist its pull:
hate.
So now, and in every moment until you die, you will have a profound choice between your
enslavement to old defenses and the beauty of God. That decision has to come from you.
You will go where you desire.
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