|
|
|
So then,
let’s say that we are not seeking to be loved, but rather to love. And
let’s say that we understand that to love means to give love, that it
is an action verb—that to love means to promote the well-being of another,
to extend oneself for the good of another. And let’s say that after
all the mistakes in interpreting love, possibly over several decades, we
understand that we cannot heal our broken selves through another—not
through their body, their head, their spirit, etc. And let’s say that
we understand and are now willing to accept the context of a loving male/female
relationship; i.e. within the Lord’s context. And we can say it’s
a given to want this—after all, the Lord created woman from man so that
man would not be alone. She is of him. She wants a him and he wants a
her—partners to share whatever. . . . Obtaining it and maintaining it
within the Lord’s context is our challenge. And so let’s say we
are ready for that, in the right way, that our will is His will. We
cannot expect perfection, for only Christ was that, but we can still seek
it. We can aspire to love perfectly. What then are the odds that we will
find, and recognize, another who is at the same point, or at least of the
same will, so that we engage in a healthy relationship? And if we don’t,
then what becomes of the yearning to generate and nurture a union that is
more than the sum of two individuals?
|
 ell, you say it all very eloquently.
And when we get to those final questions, what then? That’s where we
simply have to remain “within the Lord’s context,” as you
say, and trust in God.
Christianity has nothing to do
with odds or fortune or luck. Nor does Christianity
have anything to do with happiness. The word happiness derives from the word
hap, which means “chance,” so happiness means “good fortune” or “good luck.”
But nothing in God’s creation occurs by chance; everything is in accord with God’s
will. Therefore, Christianity is all about total dependence on God. Seek first
His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well
(Matthew 6:31-33). So, if there is “another who is at the same point,
or at least of the same will,” then God will arrange the meeting—and
if such a meeting is not in God’s plan, then we should accept that fact,
without grumbling or complaining.
Holy
Matrimony, after all, is not for
everyone.
A Gift from God
|
Christ’s disciples
said to Him, “If that is the case with a man and his wife, it is better not to
marry.” He answered that not all can accept this word, but only those to whom
it is granted. Some are incapable of marriage, He explained, because they were
born so, some because they were made so by others, and some because they have
renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. “Whoever can accept
this,” He said, “ought to accept it” (see Matthew
19:10–12). |
|
This tells us that Holy Matrimony is a
gift from God. Although some persons do not receive that gift, and although some persons
pass it by for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, anyone who can accept the gift must
also accept the strict conditions under which it is given. Christ’s own words show us,
therefore, that Holy Matrimony is not a civil right or a way to avoid feelings of
loneliness or a way to achieve happiness.
To Love Perfectly
But to “love perfectly”
is for
everyone because that is what Christianity is all about:
|
My
love so delights the soul that it destroys every other
joy which can be expressed by man here below. The taste of Me extinguishes
every other taste; My light blinds all who behold it . . . |
|
|
—as told to Saint Catherine
of Genoa
Spiritual Doctrine, Part III, Chapter VII |
|
Sadly, our
secular culture, lost in its own
humanistic emptiness, has made idols of
“romance” and “partners in lust”
as the gods of happiness. Even those who think they are Christian
fall into the deception of their seductive
allure. And oh, the many cases of insomnia, anxiety, and
depression that result from all this
empty yearning!
But if you are truly willing
to be Christian and to surrender your self
to the great love for Christ, then you have found at last the deep
“yearning to generate and nurture a union that is more than the sum
of two individuals.” When any soul enters into union with Christ, the
two become more than two “individuals,” for the soul literally
enters into union with God Himself. There is no greater
desire than to desire this perfect
love.
 |
If, then, I am
no longer
seen or found on the common,
you will say that I am lost;
that, stricken by love,
I lost myself, and was found. |
—Saint John
of the Cross,
The Spiritual Canticle,
The Poem, Stanza 29
|
Recommended
Reading
A treasure of a resource for psychological and spiritual healing. Information
gathered from my websites (including this webpage) is now available at your fingertips
in book form.
 |
|
Falling Families, Fallen Children by Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D. Do
our children see a mother and a father both living in contemplative love for
God with a constant awareness of His presence and engaged in an all-out battle
with the evil of the world? More often than not our children don’t see living
faith. They don’t see protection from evil. They don’t see genuine, fruitful
devotion. They don’t see genuine love for God. Instead, they see our external
acts of devotion as meaningless because they see all the other things we do that
contradict the true faith. Thus we lose credibility—and when parents lose credibility,
children become cynical and angry and turn to the social world around them for
identity and acceptance. They are children who have more concern for social approval
than for loving God. They are fallen children. Let’s bring them back.
Ordering
Information |
|
|
