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My husband
is living with another woman and is, of course committing adultery. What
is the catholic doctrine in regards to me having sex with my husband while
he is committing adultery? Is it a sin for me that I am condoning his sin?
I am aware there are civil implications but I am more concerned with the
religious at this point. I know if and when we divorce, I may never remarry
or have sex with another man, but AM I allowed to have sex with my
husband?
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 here are several issues to consider
here. First, the Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us (§
1868) that “we have a responsibility for the
sins committed by others when we cooperate in
them” (a) by participating directly and voluntarily in them; (b)
by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them; (c) by not disclosing
or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so; and (d) by protecting
evil-doers. In your case, item (c) seems most applicable, for by continuing
to have sex with your husband, even as you know he is committing adultery
with another woman, you in effect “tell” him that he can have his
cake and eat it too—and that does nothing to hinder the perpetuation
of his sin.
Second, unless you are past the
age of childbearing, you must consider the matter of your getting pregnant
if you continue to have sexual contact with your husband. How could you justify
bringing a child into the world knowing that your husband might eventually
abandon the entire family? The only way to absolutely avoid getting pregnant,
of course, is to not have sex.
And then you have to wonder why
you would want to have sex with someone who so blatantly defiles your
human dignity. To put yourself willingly into such a position would be to
defile your own body—the temple of the Holy
Spirit.
Finally, there is the issue of
divorce itself. Yes, your husband has betrayed
you, but the Christian faith demands that you not betray him in return. In
Holy Matrimony you have entered into a covenant that cannot be broken, and
you have an obligation—as his Christian wife and as the
mother of your children—to remain faithful to
your husband. For the sake of your own soul and as an
example to your children it is very important
that you, like other women such as Saint Monica and
Saint Rita, be an example of purity to your
husband and pray constantly for his
repentance.
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