I’m in a panic.
I’m afraid I’m going to hell. Is it a sin to go to the Novus Ordo Mass? Is it a sin
to receive the Eucharist in my hands? No one can give a clear and concise answer.
Everyone says something different. What am I supposed to do? What if I make the wrong
decision? Will I go to hell? Maybe I’m being obsessive-compulsive about this, but I’m
terrified. What if I receive in my hands but kneel and bow and lick my hands clean?
Will that make it okay? What do I do? I’m afraid that if I make the wrong decision I
will go to hell.
 he real issue in front of you is not a
matter of choosing correct behaviors but a matter of choosing the most reverent
path. The difference between these two choices is actually the difference between
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and trust in God.
The Dynamic of Undoing in OCD
In Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD),
the underlying dynamic is a matter of
undoing “bad” behaviors (or sins) so as to remove the guilt of having committed those
behaviors. This dynamic of undoing, though, always misses the psychological (and spiritual)
point of real healing because it always looks backwards with the objective of using
your own ritualistic efforts to reverse something unwanted. In contrast,
healing looks forward with the objective of developing new,
healthy growth. Furthermore, in the spiritual sense, healing depends on trusting in God’s
mercy so that sins can be admitted, guilt
can be healed through forgiveness, and new healthy behavior can be learned and practiced.
Now, in your case, bowing and licking your hands
is just an OCD way of trying to undo the guilt of receiving the Eucharist in your hands. And
you’re terrified of the matter.
Being Told What to Do
In your case, the terror that you experience has
its core in a very disconcerting fact: you can never be certain that your attempts at undoing
will actually “work.” As great as an idea of undoing might seem, there will still be doubt that
you have managed to escape condemnation for your bad behavior. Consequently, you want the
assurance of someone telling you, with clarity and certainty, what is right.
Nevertheless, even I cannot tell you what to do.
You want to be told the right choice in the hope that when you are judged by God you will
not be sent to hell for having made the wrong choice. But judgment is not about the thing
chosen; instead, it’s about the intent of the choice.
A Fine Line
Judgment concerns a subtle line that separates the
path to heaven and the path to hell. It’s a subtle because it depends on the difference between
innocent ignorance and a refusal of what is reverent, for in this difference can
be found the deep intent of any choice.
Consider an example.
Let’s say a man goes to Mass wearing jeans and a
T-shirt. Let’s also say that maybe he is ignorant of the need to dress reverently at
Mass. Still, he sees other men—or maybe even only one man—wearing dress
clothes. So, if he has any desire for reverence, he will say to himself, “Look here. What is this
all about?” He will then set about investigating the matter. He will ask others. He will read.
Maybe he will discover the parable of the man thrown out of the wedding banquet and into the
darkness because he refused to put on the fine clothing required for the banquet
(Matthew 22: 1–13). After considering all that information, he will have to make a decision.
Either he will choose to start wearing dress clothes to Mass, or he will say, “No way. I’m fine
the way I am.”
So how will he be judged?
Well, the matter is not a literal issue about whether casual clothes are a
sin, nor is it an issue about whether the man could be forgiven because
he was ignorant about how to dress at Mass. Once he knew that other men wear dress clothes, his
ignorance would have been shaken, and so his judgment by God would be about whether he chose
or rejected the most reverent path.
Now, there can be many other examples of things to
see in Church that illustrate the most reverent path. Women wearing
chapel veils. Women wearing skirts rather than
pants. People receiving the Eucharist on the tongue. People receiving
the Eucharist while kneeling. All of these examples raise the same issue: “Hmm. What is this all
about?” And judgment will be about whether someone, in noticing these things, will choose to
ignore them or will choose the most reverent path.
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You can plead innocence only until
you see the truth. Then, if you reject the truth when you see it, you will be accountable for
rejecting the truth. |
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Seeking the Reverent Path
The Novus Ordo Mass is legal. It’s not an offense
to God. Even though many traditional prayers are missing in the Novus Ordo Mass, Christ is
still present in the Novus Ordo Mass just as He is present in a traditional Mass; if
He were not, He would not have allowed it. Christ does not play games with us. He does not
say, “You fools! You are deceived. I’m not really here. Go find a real Mass!”
The real problem with the Novus Ordo Mass—and the
real danger to your soul—is the irreverence that can take place there. Casual clothing. Immodest
clothing. Women wearing pants. Women not wearing chapel veils. Female altar servers.
Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion in non-extraordinary circumstances. Receiving the
Eucharist in the hand.
And be not deceived. There are many abuses at a
Traditional Mass as well. Anger. Lust. Intellectualism. Arrogance. Pride.
What should you do when confronted by the
irreverence of such things? Well, I have made recommendations on
this website, but the issue is not whether you do what I say, or whether you will go to
hell if you don’t do what I say. What I say on this website should lead you to wonder about
your beliefs and behaviors so that you are then faced with a decision to choose or reject
reverence.
Thus the real and final issue is whether you are
willing in all things to choose the most reverent path and grow along the way. That
means seeking the path to heaven—looking forward and trusting in God’s
mercy to heal your mistakes, not in looking backwards fearing
hell.
Related Pages
• Obsessive-Compulsive disorder
• Unfinished business in OCD
• How a defense is a protection
• Catholic Recommendations for treatment of OCD
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