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I am
desiring to seek assistance for my family. Right now it is for my 10 year
old son. It is a long story but to come to the present my son is not acting
normally. I believe he can be but is showing abnormal behavior I believe
because of emotional problems, mainly because of our home environment. I
am a devout catholic and am seeking guidance that will come aligned with
the will of God. . . . I want to help my son as the rest of
my family including myself and I can only do it with God as part of
it.
 branch of psychotherapy called
family therapy holds a fundamental premise that all children’s
symptoms are the result of larger family problems. So, if a child’s
behavior must be changed, the whole family must change.
Now, in your message you acknowledge
the role of the family in your son’s abnormal behavior. That’s
a good start. And you recognize the need to seek a solution with God as part
of it. That’s even better.
So what can you do? Well, you
say you’re a devout Catholic. And I will assume from what you have written
that your husband is not a devout Catholic; if he were, he would be a proper
father and you wouldn’t be having these problems.
So that puts you in the role of a Saint Monica or a
Saint Rita, doesn’t it?
Therefore, let’s ask some
questions to see whether your current family role fits the description of
a genuinely devout Catholic home life. If not, then you will know what changes
to make, so that, while praying for the conversion of your husband and
children, you can be the defender of faith within your
family.
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 Have you thoroughly read
the Catechism of the Catholic Church so that
you understand the Faith yourself? Do you understand your faith so well that
you can live it from your heart as the fullest
sustenance of your very life? Do you live your faith
so well from your heart that you can witness
it to others through your behavior? Do you witness your faith so well that
you can explain it to your son in language he can understand?
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 Do you
spend time every night with your son reading Scripture and explaining it
to him?
If you need help here, then read
A Practical Commentary on Holy Scripture with
your son. This is an ideal book for teaching children the essence of the
Catholic Bible.
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Do you teach your son the basics
of prayer, so that he understands how to sit
quietly in reverent respect, not just at home but also during Mass?
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Before every
Mass do you read with your son the Scriptural readings
and explain their meaning to your son, so that he knows in advance the theme
of that day’s Mass?
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Do you begin each day with your
son by praying some form of morning prayer, do you pray
Evening Prayer with your family every evening before
dinner, the Rosary with your family every night
after dinner, rather than watch TV, and Night Prayer
with your family just before bedtime?
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Through your personal example,
do you teach your son to trust in God’s justice and providence?
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Do you teach your son, through
your own personal example, that whenever anyone says or does anything unkind
to you, you respond with a blessing and a prayer for that person’s
conversion?
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Are you careful never to swear
or speak a harsh word to anyone?
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Do you discuss openly and objectively
with your son all of his experiences, so that he can learn to see both the
positive and negative qualities in everything human?
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Do you teach your son that if
he lives a genuine Catholic life, he will have few friends and will suffer
much social persecution?
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Are you careful never to lie
to your son?
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If you make a mistake, do you
admit it openly and honestly?
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If you ever hurt your son, do
you explain what happened, why it happened, and promise to do everything
you can to not do it again?
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If someone else ever hurts your
son, do you explain what happened, why it happened, and promise to do everything
you can to protect your son?
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Do you show your son through
your own personal example that you do not have any desire for materialism
or social approval, and that instead of seeking
out your own pleasure, you always look to the good of others?
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Do you explain to your son that
most everything he will see on TV or in movies or read in comic books and
newspapers, or, for that matter, be taught in
school, is hostile to the Catholic faith?
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Do you explain to your son that
you do not watch TV or movies because the the advertising and entertainment
industry wants to destroy the Church by brainwashing everyone, especially
children, and that you prefer to live a holy life of prayer and study so as
to develop your personal talents for God’s service?
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Do you teach your son that all
sports and video games
are based in pride and strife, and that instead
of competing with his neighbors he should be praying
for their conversion?
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As a personal example to your
son, do you dress modestly? Do you tell your son
that it is necessary to avoid tattoos and piercings?
Do you explain to him how modesty is central to the Christian faith, and how
many persons in this world are deceived by the social worship of
lust?
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As a personal example to your
son, are you a non-smoker?
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As a personal example to your son,
do you avoid marijuana and other drugs and use alcohol only with careful
responsibility?
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As a personal example to your
son, do you eat simple, healthy food, and maintain an
ideal weight?
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As a personal example to your
son, do you walk whenever you can, for exercise?
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Do you discipline your son
properly?
If you need help here, then read
my web pages about
Family
Therapy and
Adolescent
Violence on A Guide to
Psychology and its Practice.
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Do you teach your son, through
your own personal example, to treat other family members with
kindness and dignity, always looking out
for their needs?
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If your husband does anything
immoral or unfaithful, do you explain to your son honestly and compassionately
exactly what your husband is doing, and why it is wrong, telling your son
not to blame his father but to pray constantly
for his father’s conversion?
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Recommended
Reading
A treasure of a resource for psychological and spiritual healing. Information
gathered from my websites (including this webpage) is now available at your fingertips
in book form.
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Falling Families, Fallen Children by Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D. Do
our children see a mother and a father both living in contemplative love for
God with a constant awareness of His presence and engaged in an all-out battle
with the evil of the world? More often than not our children don’t see living
faith. They don’t see protection from evil. They don’t see genuine, fruitful
devotion. They don’t see genuine love for God. Instead, they see our external
acts of devotion as meaningless because they see all the other things we do that
contradict the true faith. Thus we lose credibility—and when parents lose credibility,
children become cynical and angry and turn to the social world around them for
identity and acceptance. They are children who have more concern for social approval
than for loving God. They are fallen children. Let’s bring them back.
Ordering
Information |
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Step-by-step instructions
for praying
