Basically, I want
to know if you could render a basic opinion of what qualities you think constitute good
mental health? I have training in a mental health profession, and my life experience has
led me to believe that being balanced, having and maintaining good boundaries, being and
staying present, having good relationships, and attempting to do God's will in your life
are all part of it. I am concerned that there is so much materialism in the world, and many
people I have known seem more concerned with money and self promotion than with the above
mentioned qualities. On the other hand, I have known of celebrities who truly do seem to be
tying to live out morally upright and holy lives. Well, long story short I was wondering if
you could send a basic opinion about some qualities that you believe make up good mental
Also, I have found it quite easy to connect with people throughout my
life, and I would like to continue to develop that quality in myself. So do you know of a
book that would help me to be a better communicator? I found your writing about the unconscious
and the use of language to be fascinating.
Those are the questions I asked through your website, after I made a
donation. Thanks for contacting me about the donation and your not receiving a question;
I may have made some sort of technical error, or not correctly understood or followed your
directions about asking a question. I also want you to know I consider myself a very honest
t sometimes occurs that answers to our questions
can be revealed through our own personal experiences. In your case, you asked what constitutes
good mental health, and, in the process, you stumbled on the answer through what you failed to
do: the answer to your question is “following directions,” and, in asking your question, you
failed to follow directions. That is, I didn’t receive your question initially because you failed
to use the proper subject heading for the e-mail as I specify, with strong warnings, on my webpage
I have your question now only because I contacted you after I received your donation and noticed
there was not an accompanying message.
So now that you have the short answer to your question,
let’s develop it.
The Simplest Level of Following
The concept of following directions has a
spectrum of meaning. At its simplest level, it can relate to something such as reading a map and
following the route from one place to another. An inability to read a map actually constitutes a
lack of mental health because the root cause of the inability is a person’s
unconscious anger at a father for his failures in providing guidance
during childhood. Similarly, as another example, procrastination
results from unconscious anger: you know what needs to be done, and you know the steps to take,
but you can’t follow those directions because you fear going into the unknown (and might even want
to punish yourself because you believe that you don’t deserve success), all because of anger at how
you were stifled as a child.
The Social Level of Following
Following directions also has social context in
regard to the necessity of following directions of authority and rules of civil behavior.
Civil disobedience and civil unrest are direct oppositions to the rules of authority. So also
are rudeness, bullying, harassment, political hate, defamation of character, slander, defilement
of God-given gender reality, and on and on today. They all point to
a lack of mental health in an increasingly insane mob-rule society. It’s all the insanity of
hell, where anything goes because all direction—along with all hope and
respect for authority—has been ignored.
The Spiritual Level of Following
Finally, there is a spiritual realm of following
directions. Consider the Ten Commandments as supreme directions, and consider the
sin—and insanity—that occurs when those directions are not followed.
Consider when Ezekiel was told to “be not rebellious like this house of rebellion, but open your
mouth and eat what I shall give you.” That’s about following directions. Consider Christ’s command
to love one another as He loved us, and then consider the insanity that results when we reject
divine love and let pride and
anger rule our
lives. Consider the insanity of rejecting a warning about the consequences of
committing a sin and then committing the sin anyway. Consider what Saint Paul said about the
necessity of modesty and chastity in personal
conduct, and then look around you—in society in general and even among so-called Catholics—and see
how almost everyone is wallowing in lust
today. And most celebrities today are at the head of the insane march into hell. It’s all about
a refusal to follow directions, and it leads to a hellish insanity.
A Book About Communication
So maybe now you can understand that “having and
maintaining good boundaries,
being and staying present, having good relationships, and attempting to do God's will in your life”
are good values, but without the ability to follow directions from the lowest level right up to
the highest level you will be vulnerable to being led astray by
unconscious resentments. Yes, you can say, “Oh, I was just too busy” or
“I just got distracted” or “That really doesn’t apply to me” and so “that’s why I didn’t notice the
directions,” but those are excuses and, ultimately, self-deceptions.
Consequently, the best book
you can read about communication is the “book” of your own
Look inside yourself to the deepest psychoanalytic depths to discover your own unconscious
resentments from childhood that lurk behind your own failure to follow directions.